Friday, January 05, 2007

Happy 2007

My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months.

I want to wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas and a very prosperous New Year.

Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Thanks for all those who informed me that Bill Gates is giving away his fortune, I am still waiting to receive my share.

Thanks for all those Nigerians and Sumatrans who trusted me enough to ask my help in recovering their $100 million stashed in Swiss banks, in return for a 30% commission.

Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains and may eat my guts out as well.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave, because it causes cancer.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC, because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer worry about my soul, because at last count, I have 52343214 angels looking out for me in addition to all of you dear friends.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to atleast 10 of my friends and make a wish within 10seconds.

I no longer have any savings, because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time)... that will change once I receive the $15,000 that AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

Yes, I want! to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor!

If you don't send this damn post to at least 194120 people in the next 7 minutes, a large flock of pigeons with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 6:00 PM this afternoon.

Happy 2007